What Resonates

So apart from hoping my writings are not too long, it is also my hope that the content of my journal entries/ blogs resonates with someone somewhere. This week my tempo is on doing things from an authentic place - and trust me this is not easy. (See the youtube video - TedTalk by Caroline McHugh on the art of being yourself)

Over the weekend I had an interesting chat with a friend who wanted to get some information on the services offered at Uwàmìto Consulting. So after sharing the information he asked, what prompted you to start Uwàmìto Consulting? As we say in the Caribbean 'easy peas'. The elevator pitch seemed to not impress as he said he did not think I was letting in on what my true reason was. There was banter and after a while, we talked some more about other things and soon enough the conversation ended.

But it left me thinking and I started to reflect, and you know what? he was right to an extent. I remembered over the years of working that I can safely say that I do have my life mission and it has always been and will continue to be, serving people in a way to help them to improve so that they can have better outcomes in life. I have had my fair share of burn-out and hurts but I am better at understanding my limitations, my strengths and most importantly, I know when to walk away or hand over to someone else. I have kept The Serenity Prayer in my arsenal when things get too much.

A memory came to me it was just like yesterday - about 22 years ago at my first job. It was at the tail-end of a huge community event which took months to plan, everything worked like clockwork - we convinced a wide cross-section of community stakeholders to partner with us. Man, everyone was there! the chairman of the area who akin to the mayor, the laity from the different denominational groups actively participated oh and members of my family was there. So apart from organising and ensuring everyone was ok along with other members of my team I had the simple task of giving the vote of thanks. That was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life... in front of hundreds of people I started feeling uncontrollably nervous, my hands started trembling profusely and the microphone fell from my hands. The notes I had written down served no purpose. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders - I had no idea what went wrong.

I was down in the dumps for days, I did not care that folks were snickering but there was this profound feeling of failure. I felt like I let myself down.

Luckily, I had the best leadership - the executive director (now deceased Michael Ramcharan) (when he existed the world wide web was just starting up so there are no links or pics or bios to share) sat me down at our next weekly meeting and gave me the best advice when bad things happen you must move on, and always ask what is the lesson.

I signed up and completed a public speaking course and truth be told Michael asked me to do another vote of thanks at another of our events, this time it was at a huge steelpan competition inserted into an international exchange event with participants from every continent in the world aside from panmen from every single steelpan group/side from South Trinidad - the numbers were close to 700 in total. I was dressed to the nines in my beige satin dress, heels, my hair well done - I felt nervous again! It did not help that I was getting stares or the fact that everyone knew I was there so there was no way I could pull out.

I went outside in the lobby area to collect my thoughts, by that time I was sweaty and I was sure I was ill. Then this lady named Blanka from Costa Rica I remember her till today and she told me there is a formula. She said always connect first with what you are about to share and if you don't feel it, do not say it. So I read the words written down and I realised some of it needed changing. I was unable to write it over as at that time I heard my name announced on the PA system. I went on and connected with my insides and delivered the vote of thanks and owned the space as if I was born to do that vote of thanks. I vaguely remember the applause and the bursting out of the audience into singing 'Enter into Jerusalem' but what I remembered were the look of pride on Michael's face and Blanka's wink but more so the feeling of accomplishment of overcoming my challenge.

I remember that small feeling, the feeling of embarrassment but more importantly, feeling lost as I did not know how to solve my problem at the time and sure enough I was able to find a solution and inspiration in the midst of the milieu to solve my problem. For me creating Uwàmìto Consulting is to be available to anyone in need of the services we offer since I know what it feels to be in the midst of conflict. I know what it feels like to have to put broken pieces together after having made bad decisions or choices. It is my hope that Uwàmìto Consulting can be a beacon of hope to people and entities in need of support to become their greatest selves. Yes we can do all I shared in the elevator pitch but my many experiences over the years are my whys, it is WHAT RESONATES.